Hey motherfuckaz!

We're back with more fantastic porno you ought to groove out to! Sure, it's not an epic work of sexual hypergenius like the POPPORN movie or anything, but hey, what is? Today's we'll be taking an in-depth (or perhaps not-so-in-depth) look at Third Degree's Too Small to Take it All, a film about whether or not women under, like, 5 feet or so can still fuck guys. We're pretty sure they can, but fuck, the movie's still an interesting scientific study that you should all be aware of.

Here's how you know you are fucked.

I’m starting to realize I photograph better after sex. After my cock cravings have been fulfilled, be it moments later or even a few hours later, I seem to glow or some corny shit like that. When it comes to work, I always like the shots taken at the end of scenes the most. Something about the just been fucked look, when my hair and make up is a little rocked, is just hot to me.

Can you believe it? It's finally here! The release of POPPORN.com's first feature length adult, pornographic, XXX movie. Appropriately titled:

POPPORN - THE GUIDE TO MAKING FUCK

This sucker hits streets on July 14th via our good friends at Zero Tolerance, your go to team for all things sexy!

Well, now it's time to party!

Everyone gets bored from time to time. It's unavoidable. However, the true test of a person is what they do when faced with the reality of being bored. Some people choose to sit and complain blaming their town, their friends whatever they can get their grimy little hands on...while other do something about it.

We're the kind of folks that do something about it.

Some parents are just plain desperate to keep their kids safe. That's understandable. Teenagers tend to get into a lot of trouble. Sometimes it's drugs, sometimes it's crimes and sometimes, of course, it's sex. The last thing any parent wants is to see his or her teenagers caught up in a deadly drug war while losing their virginity. We'd all prefer for our kids to wait until they're adults before heavily abusing drugs and doing unspeakable things with their genetalia, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

You may not believe this, coming from a respectable and responsible crew like us, but...uh...we lost one of our videos. A while ago. It was pretty embarrassing. But hey, don't worry - we found them shits! Sure, it took six months to find the fuckin' tape, but as a result, you fuckers are getting treated to POPPORN's first bonafide LOST EPISODE! It's gonna be awesome!

First, a few lyrics from "Ghost Fuckaz", the title track on the upcoming album from hip-hop crew DEUCEZ-TRICKSTAZ:

Time to get your fright on, motherfuckaz. The dead are among us, and they're fuckin!

We all have our types, right? For me it’s a tall, clean cut, witty guy. For others it’s blondes with big boobs, brunettes with big butts or you know, just someone with a pulse (or sometimes without a pulse). Well, one Australian woman was a thing for footballers. No, not the Tom Brady or Donovan McNabb type of footballers, I mean those gay little pansies that kick a little ball around the pitch. She has such a thing for them, she fucked 200 of them.

New Sensations presents their newest movie in their parody series. Scrubs: A XXX Parody takes place at Naked Heart hospital where young doctors DJ and Ellie (James Deen and Ashlynn Brooke) not only work but are also a couple. DJ notices that people really need to get laid and works his tail off to make that happen. Will the young doctor be able to get the job done? Find out on Scrubs: A XXX Parody.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that POPPORN.com ain't technical and shit. Seriously, we have computers, phones, email and all types of stuff that makes us just about as close to being The Matrix as you can get. We've even started working on new hack0rz names and stuff but we can't seem to agree on a language of origin to base them off of. Sure, Egyptian seems like the natural choice, but try spelling DJABENUSIRI in a pitch black hackerz cave and you'll see the error of your ways pretty right tootin!

Anywhoo...as I mentioned, we're technical all over the place.

Hey, before we start. I just learned about Michael Jackson's death. I just read about it a few minutes before writing this article. I just want to point out that I wouldn't be half the man I am today if not for the lessons Captain Eo taught me. That's all.

Now, My story about snacks.

As you casually glance around the bar, you notice me, Bobbi Starr, staring at you through the crowd. Startled, you turn and take a drink. As you look back up, you’re dismayed to find that I’ve vanished from my place in the crowd. Suddenly, you feel a hand slide down the front of your jeans, causing them to swell with anticipation. Warm breath caresses your ear, and a voice says, “I need a man to dominate me now, and you look like the perfect candidate.”

Well, it took me a few years to catch up with the rest of you bitch-ass suckas, but I finally got myself one of those newfangled cell-phones everybody's talking about. That's right, after a lot of looking, a lot of saving and a fair amount of encouragement from a rather pushy salesman, MEAT BALL is the proud owner of his very own Motorola Dyna-Tac, and I couldn't be happier about it. This thing's got impressive features like "talk", "listen" and "dial" and it boasts an impressive 30 minutes of "talk time", all for a little under four thousand bucks. Jealous much? The cutting edge better watch the fuck out, because I'm getting ready to smear some of my grime all over it.