We just caught wind of this stupidity.

Our friends over at TLARAW.com (you know, one of those places where you can pick up some pretty boss porn DVDs, watch pretty sweet porn videos on demand, or snag yourself some pretty bitchin' sex toys) are offering one lucky dick a $200 shopping spree at their online store!

Apparently they're trying to build up their "likes" on their facebook page and if you "like" them and leave a message on their wall, you are automatically entered to win.

I'm gonna go ahead and let you know right off the bat that I pulled you into this article under false pretenses. Allie Haze did not, in fact, embezzle anything from Vivid. But I needed to write a short piece about the contract star's departure from HirschCo. and I needed something with a little bit more pizazz than "Allie Haze leaves vivid in effort to pursue more diverse visability", which was how the official press release put it.

Plus, I'm not 100% sure what "more diverse visability" means. I think it's a classy way of saying Vivid only makes porn for white people, but I could be wrong about that. Anyway, Allie Haze has parted ways with Vivid. Boom!

I met Hunter Moore one time. He handed me a glass of lukewarm Skyy vodka and Drivenbyboredom's Igor Smith showed me he was an expert mixologist by putting a lemon wedge in it. We were at The Foundation Room in Mandalay Bay in Vegas, and it was the night before the AVNs. Moore repeatedly asked me if I was going to give him bad press, but really, I didn't have very many bad things to say about Moore. He'd done a genius thing: he'd created a website that was fueled by sexy user-generated content and the asshole in all of us.

Yesterday, you may have been surprised to learn that the President of the United States, Barack Obama, gave his support for same-sex marriage. For many of us, this stands as yet another nail in the coffin of bigotry against homosexuals.

Yesterday, the citizens of North Carolina voted against two dudes being able to marry each other. While I'm seeing lots of people on the internet crying foul and raging about intolerance and injustice, I thought that maybe there's a positive spin to be seen (although I suppose this was a positive for the 60% that voted that way). I thought to myself that maybe POPPORN should travel to NC and use our status as a traveling sovereign nation (granted to us by ex-president Jimmy Carter back in 2007) to perform legally-binding gay marriages to anyone who'd want them. We love to spread the love, especially if we'd be able to film and sell the honeymoon footage.

But when I brought it up to Bangs, he said it was a stupid idea and suggested instead that we begin a new business venture performing unlicensed surgeries. Because having spent years of our lives watching people do awful, awful things to their bodies (and having a rudimentary knowledge of human biology), we feel pretty qualified to turn the medical field on it's ear. So, I guess it's on.

A few days ago, one of our creepier friends went on vacation with a group of his creepy friends. Their goal? Rest, relaxation and sexual intercourse with women.

Hey, wait. I never knew that Sensi Pearl was in that High School Musical movie. What the fuck? Why didn't you dicks tell me? And she played "geek #2" in some other movie? Why wasn't I informed about this? What the fuck? This news apparently broke sometime around a year ago and I never heard of it. Once more, what the fuck?

Hey, come to think of it, I don't think I even heard of no Sensi Pearl a year ago? Was she even doing movies a year ago? Wasn't Tiffany Star the hot star of the moment this time last year (you know, before she became a mother)? What the fuck is going on here? How are you people finding out about this stuff?

Nadya Suleman's vagina is already some kind of a Stargate for a messload of children, but now it will be exploited in another way: the solo scene.

These days, what hasn't been sexualized? From the most mundane of technology (text messages) to our children (Toddlers & Tiaras, anyone?) overt sexuality is coaxed out of everything in our culture with an ease that almost proves the point that morals are for assholes.

Are you still pissed about Portrait of a Call Girl winning big at the AVN Awards this past January? Well, hold on to your dicks, assholes, because Graham Travis and Elegant Angel are getting set to repeat the whole shebang with their upcoming super-serious, helvetica-texted sex flick, Wasteland! If my gut feeling is any indication, this movie's going to turn the industry on it's ear in the coming months. But keep in mind, my gut feeling is absolutely no indication of anything, so place your bets accordingly!

Frankly, I was hoping their big movie this year would be a reinvention of the long-lost and well-beloved Slop Shots series, but you can't win them all, I guess.

The other evening, I met a young woman. She was 22 years old and while we were chatting, I mentioned Friendster. She casually responded, "What's that?"

You learn something new every day. And today I learned that former MILF porn actress Mona Love is from my hometown of Grand Rapids, MI. I also learned that she inadvertently helped get a man beaten to death with dumbbells.

Have you guys heard of this Game of Thrones show? I haven't seen it yet because I don't have cable.

POPPORN often offers up our professional opinion on any number of topics. Our goal? To help those who we consider to need helping. We wander the internet much like a good Samaritan wanders the streets in search of elderly individuals in need of assistance when carrying their groceries. We consider this to be a sign that we care.

I did a lot of things in New York this last week, including watch Pulp play as a band in America for the first time in over a decade. And as titillating as watching Jarvis Cocker's tiny pelvis thrust across the stage to "This is Hardcore" while fantasizing about nearly shattering that tiny pelvis, perhaps the most outwardly porn-erific thing I did this week was visit the Museum of Sex.