Hey, shits! POPPORN are artists! Did you know that?

No, I'm not referring to our award-nominated (and subsequently award-robbed) porno movies. Though, in our opinion, our movies have all turned out bitch-ass awesome and are a must have on any true porn lover's dirty smut shelf (Go buy them! We need money!), I don't quite consider them high art. Art, sure. But more likely low art or maybe medium art. I think that's the highest you can go with porno. Unless you're getting into that hifalutin' Andrew Blake style of porno, but seriously, who wants to watch that?

Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about today. I'm talking about POPPORN's king-size tribute to the murderous villains of the Marvel universe, aptly titled We Murdered the Avengers, which opens at Brave New Worlds Comics in Philly next fuckin' weekend! It's gonna be an extravaganza of comic book inspired artwork, drawn and painted by Brian Bangs, Spock BUCKTON, MEAT BALL and Kellboy. With such a righteous and righteously arrogant roster of talent involved, you know this shit's gonna be good!

See, as you may have surmised, we enjoy comic books quite a lot. And often, throughout our workweek (or actually several times through each and every workday), we sojourn over to the comic shop (located a mere block from our offices) and shoot the shit with the staff, while one of us lags behind and shoplifts everything he can. While there, the idea came up of an art show. Perhaps the POPPORN crew could groove up their own renditions of classic comic book characters and put them on display for all of the world to enjoy (and hopefully buy)? Why the shit not? So we made a deal with the store - they let us display our wares in their lobby for a week or so.

Once the deal was in place, the obvious question was what should be the subject of our no-doubt bitch-ass awesome art-stravaganza? We thought long and hard about it. We discussed, argued, debated and fist-fought over the choice before us, and eventually we all agreed that we should focus on the murderous villains of the Marvel universe. Why Marvel, and not DC? Frankly, Bangs just plain can't hang with DC Comics, as is his prerogative. Why villains? Because we're not pussies, that's why! We wanted our show to err on the side of being bad-fuckin-ass, if at all possible.

So please, join us next Friday. Hopefully you will enjoy our renditions of such beloved bastards as Dr. Doom, The Vulture, The Leader, Mole Man, Mojo, a plethora of devious Skrulls and more. I'd show previews of all of these works, but, to be quite frank, you wouldn't have any reason to make the trek over to the store if we did that. Also, a lot of the paintings and drawings aren't finished yet. We still have, like, four days to finish them. Come on.

Even if our artwork is deemed awful by all, it should still be a decent get together. Hell, I'm planning on baking cookies.

HOW TO BE A LADIES MAN

ROBOT PIZZA BUTLER