Are you a woman who struggles with road rage and an insatiable libido? Do you often find yourself screaming obscenities through your windshield at the other cars on the freeway while secretly wishing you were in bed, sipping a glass of wine and shoving a man's face into your pulsating vagina? Perhaps the rough vibration of the roads with their veritable minefield of potholes combined with the thrill of your aggressive automotive interactions even stimulates your desire for sexual activity. Or maybe the anxiety caused by the freeways full of inconsiderate assholes leaves you in need of a way to release your pent up tension. I, too, felt this way during my daily battles with the masses as they crawl slowly through LA's horrific maze of undersized highways and poorly maintained byways until a recent encounter provided me with a revolutionary new coping mechanism.

I was recently interviewed on Playboy Radio alongside the CEO of PleasurePartys.com. After some intensely stimulating conversation, I was presented with a unique gift - the Car Pet. I'm not talking about a squeaky little Pekingese like most LA women carry around as a fashionable accessory, the Car Pet is a little bunny-shaped vibrator with 12 volt adapter that plugs into the cigarette lighter in your car. Now, I know that the suggestion of women physically pleasuring themselves while navigating through traffic may seem ill-conceived, and sure you can probably anticipate some occasional mild swerving, but just imagine how much more enjoyable you daily commute would be if you had a little bunny providing you with a relaxing clitoral massage all the way home.

Now, I am a certainly a girl who enjoys her vibrators; some might even call me a connoisseur, but I admit that I had my doubts when it came to accepting this cute little four inch pink bunny rabbit as my driving companion. As I drove away from the Playboy studios, I could sense the bunny eying me from the passenger seat. I tried to ignore him as I made my way to the freeway. Soon I found myself trapped in the familiar grasp of LA's gridlocked traffic. I peeked over to my right, only to find that the bunny was still staring at me . . . almost seductively.

"What do you want?" I started to say, but before I could finish, I had to slam on my brakes as some douche bag in a black SUV swerved in front of me.

"ASSHOLE!!!" I yelled out the window and angrily flipped him off. Sure, I may have unintentionally cut him off a few miles back, but now he was just being a spiteful cocksucker.

I was clearly aggravated, and the bunny was still staring at me as if to say, "Calm down, baby. I can help you relax. Just give me a chance."

"Why not . . . " I hiked up my skirt and plugged his persuasive ass into my cigarette lighter. I instantly became more relaxed as he nuzzled my clit through my moist white panties. Soon, I started to wonder why I was in such a rush to get home in the first place. Nothing I can do will make the drive go any faster, so I might as well just relax and enjoy the ride. The next time somebody cut me off, I just let it slide and cruised into the next lane.

What if every woman had a little bunny riding shotgun with her? Half of the drivers on the road would be more relaxed and less aggressive. Perhaps there would be a few additional accidents caused by careless orgasmic steering, but we'd still have freeways full of happier drivers. Of course, this plan only applies to women; we'll have to find another way to relax the men. ;-)

HOW TO BE A LADIES MAN

DIAMOND PRINCESS