We're not entirely huge fans of stereotypes and generalizations around here. Especially when it involves sexual preferences. We've got a pretty tolerant, fair fucks (or "far fucks", if you will) type of attitude towards nearly any sexual practice you can think of. So when we bring you news like this, in which we repeatedly point out how gay those dudes from the Jersey Shore show appear to be, please don't think we mean it in any sort of derogatory way. Of course, given the rampant homophobic rants often bellowed by the cast of the ever-popular (though quickly diminishing in our collective cultural consciousness, I can only hope) television program, we have to assume that these guys do in fact find it derogatory that they appear rather gay. Of course, heck, we really don't give two shits if they're offended because, come on, those guys really seem to be total douchebags.

Besides, the Village Voice seems to agree, and they're all accredited and shit!

If you ain't heard, the Voice recently took the time to feature the world's three most famous...ahem..."guidos"...on the cover of their prestigious publication. Vinny Gaudagnino, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino posed shirtless. Grooved on their tans. Flexed their guns. Proudly boasted their ridiculous hairstyles. Showed off their abs, or in the one dude's case, his big fuckin' gut (I think it was the Situation, though I can't be sure having still actually never seen the show. I've seen the spoof of the show, of course, because it was directed by our own fine Spock BUCKTON and Brian Bangs, but even that I only watched while drunk and high and I don't recall too much aside from Deen shouting about his bag getting jizzed on). The point is, the guy's proudly displayed their New Jersey beach physiques for the camera. Of course, they didn't realize that they were going to be featured on the cover of the voice's "queer issue". Whoooooooooooooops.

The Jersey Shore has made Seaside Heights, NJ notorious. Central to the show’s success is The Situation & Co.’s blend of the homophobic and homoerotic, mixed together like a potent Long Island Iced Tea," writes Tony Phillips of the voice. "But long before Snooki and her housemates, homosex has been alive and well on the Jersey Shore."

When I read about the situation (I mean the actual situation that was occurring, not the guy named the situation), I immediately thought of this. Don't you agree? Man, I love that clip. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh.

It's just, heck, I guess I just find the whole scenario funny. The fact that these guys are so far removed from reality that they honestly could be surprised about this turn of events, or the fact that they come off as homoerotic to many, is just god damn fucking hilarious to me. I guess it's naive to think that a guy who calls himself "The Situation" would have any idea that a world exists outside his own body, but hey...

Well, with any hope, these losers will fade from memory soon. Of course, I also hope that the POPPORN/Zero Tolerance movie based on these losers gains more and more popularity over the years and spirals into a gargantuan fame monster so large that no one would ever dare try to quell its rage. I know that probably won't happen, but it sure would be neat-o if it did.

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OFFICIAL JERSEY SHORE PARODY

JERSEY SCORE