Yep, it's that time of year again. The time of year where we say to ourselves, "Man, running a blog is some bullshit. We should take some time off." And thus, we take some time off. But before we do so, we say to ourselves, "Let's do something random prior to our departure." And so, we end up with today's update.

Today, we invite you to the world of random sexy photos of women we know, women we don't know and women who don't want to know us. We went to twitter and asked ladies to tweet pictures at us that we could use in this here article and fortunately for you, the reader, there are a decent number of ladies in the twitterverse that ain't got a problem showing a little something something. So...feast on this - as BUCKTON tells us what he would like to do to each of these adorable women

PS - You can't sue for sexual harassment if it's done via the internet!

This lovely lass gets HUUUGE points for wearing a Star Wars hoodie. If I were to have my way with her, I think I'd start the evening by clandestinely doing bong hits in her bathroom and suggesting that we watch some smut together to get in the mood to do some fuck - I figure she'd groove on that pretty hard. So, I'd probably pop on POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck (the scene where James Deen cums on my face [chicks are into dudes who to semi-gay shit {IT GETS BETTER}]) and before you know it, this lady would probably already be giving me some serious mask. Then, while receiving said mask, I'd use that opportunity to switch the DVD to ATTACK OF THE CLONES and groove out to the part where Elan Sleezbaggano tries to sell Obi-Wan some Death Sticks. FEAST ON THAT ACT OF ROMANCE!

This is Stella James and she's really into my fuckin' beard. So, if we had a night together I think I'd pull a fast one and shave my beard off in front of her because girls like it when guys are assholes. Then I'd probably ask if she had any comics laying around and then tell her that her comics suck dick and she should be reading fuckin' S.H.I.E.L.D. because that book is boss ass trickin' to the max. Once again, girls like it when guys are assholes. By this time, she'd probably be playing around with her beave a lot in an act of seduction... which I would fall for. I'd then take that opportunity to will my beard to grow back (I can do that) and feast on some vagina for awhile until she'd be just about ready to do an orgasm. Then suddenly, I'd stop cunnilingin' and talk about S.H.I.E.L.D some more - especially that part with monster fucking. After that, we'd probably just hug for awhile with occasional boob grabbing while texting Pat Myne.

We have no idea who this person is. However, there is a clear indication that she is into our style of dress because she likes to get undressed. This is a clear inverse relationship since she knows we never get fully naked. In fact, poolside, we still wear long sleeve plaid shirts because we're from Philly and fuck you. However, from what we can tell, she's got one of those new iPhones and if she can loan us a couple bucks, we'd totally jizz on it and let her keep the phone AND the jizz.

I suppose it's also possible that the person behind this photo is a rather fat man who just likes to pretend to be a girl on the internet. Dude, it's cool, we'll jizz on your phone too!

I'm not exactly sure what's in this girl's mouth, but to me it looks like a sweet-ass strip of a buncha goddamn acid. And let me tell you fuckers one thing - BUCKTON IS DOWN WITH ACID. The last time I did it, my one friend thought he saw a Wizard Bug and it threw 16 cyclones wrapped in hurricanes at him and then we perched in trees for awhile.
Anyhoo - ACID IS NO GOOD WHEN IT COMES TO FUCKIN. But, once the acid wore off, I'd be down for putting my face on this lady's ass for awhile. THAT THING LOOKS AWESOME!

I can't tell if this one is getting dressed or getting undressed but I'll tell you fucks one thing - WATCHING GIRLS GET DRESSED IS PROBABLY THE SEXIEST THING ON EARTH... next to watching girls put on make up. If I were groovin' down with thing girl, I'd ask her to try on everything in her closet while I watch and jerk off. That's not creepy, right? Would if help if I told her I loved her? The best part of this photo is that it looks like there are some dude's shirts hanging in that closet and being that cuckolding dudes is one of my favorite pastimes, dude's shirts hanging in the closet is a huge bonus - especially considering that's where my cum will be going.

I like it when you can see through a lady's shirt - that way you don't have to take the time (and energy) to take it off her. Booty jean shorts are a plus too. I'd like to chomp on those threads. Nice fuckin' sneaks too. They look like these Reebok Pumps I had in 1990. Them shits make you JUMP HIGH! Is that a mole on her chin too? I got a little newsflash for you, dear - that mole is going in my mouth. I'm also digging the fact that she's sitting on the kitchen counter too. That means that when we get married (which I like to do every now and again) she won't be a nag about keeping the kitchen clean. What's the fuckin' point of doing the dishes if you're just gonna rub your pussy all over the kitchen counter? Am I right?

This is Lucy - she used to do stuff for POPPORN but I don't think she does anymore. She also dates our good friend Brian Street Team, whose penis I have seen and I'm pretty sure my penis is just about the same as his when I'm not drunk. Now, even though I'm fuckin' down with cuckolding, I dunno if I could cuckold Brian Street Team. That said, I'm sure our good friend Tony S.... nah that's too incriminating... let's say T. Santoro, would be glad to step in and do the cuckolding for me.

That's disturbing in at least 3 ways.

PS. LUCY - I LIKE YOUR ZOOBS.

Sometimes I send dirty, drunken texts to the lovely Phoenix and hopefully someday those texts will become a wonderful night of sexy regrets (ATTN: PORNO: do not steal my title SEXY REGRETS). I'm a huge fan of her zoobs and rumor has it this girl has a Jean Grey costume. If that's indeed true, I'd like to dress up like Apocolypse and PUT my penis all over her entire body until the power of my wang makes her shoot girl cum out of her mouth. On second thought, maybe I'd just dress up as Gambit and hurl playing cards at her vulva. Either way - SCORE 10 POINTS FOR BUCKTON!

With that...we leave you with something, completely different:

DELINQUENTS

OFFICIAL JERSEY SHORE PARODY