You've probably heard that walking corpse, part-time criminal and full time car crash Lindsay Lohan has signed on to pose n00d for Playboy. While we support any individual's god-given right to pose naked for whomever they so choose, we can't help but be a tad bit uninspired by this news and ultimately, we feel a little gypped.

Face it, whether you like her or not, Lindsay Lohan was pretty smoking a few years ago. Sure, she might have been underage at the time and we are not in the business of fantasizing about underage women. However, we are in the business of acknowledging creationism and when God creates a sweet looker that will one day grow up to be a woman of maturity and (potentially) legally nude opportunity, we give credit where credit is due.

God, you did a good job!

Proof? Given:

Since then of course, Lindsay's gone on to be a bit of a downer what with her sleazy-and-then-some escapades that make the Real Housewives of whatever-fucking-city look classy. She's been to jail, she's been to court. She's worn location and tracking devices, she's failed to show up for community service. Sure, it's a fun ride to watch from time to time, but let's face it, she'll probably be dead by 2013.

And then it's announced that she will appear in that sleeper of a magazine Playboy. Playboy? Seriously? At least Kim Kardashian had the good Christian decency to fuck someone on film to get attention. Lohan chooses to parks her car squarely in the land of no-boner, Playboy as if anyone who might wish to see her dehydrated form naked hasn't already done a google search for Lindsay Lohan crotch shots and nipple slips. Oh, wait, really? You haven't?

Proof? Given:

(No, this is not Betty White, it's Lohan!)

So what you're stuck with is a shriveled raisin of a gal, who has just turned 25 gearing up to impress...well no one, with her new, non-Cop inspired teeth in a photo spread for a magazine that was edgy in 1821.

It's kind of a downer.

P.S. - Lindsay probably has enough drugs up her pussy at this moment to choke a reindeer. Think about it.

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