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VIDEO: STOYA REVIEWS HER OWN MOVIE!

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 3:03pm — MEAT BALL

Is it narcissistic to review your own film? Probably, but we don't give a shit. If Stoya wants to tell everybody out there why her movie is worth watching and masturbating to, who are we to object? This week's review is sort of like a feature commentary, except it only lasts five minutes and is at least one million times more entertaining that any commentary track you've ever heard. Except that maybe that out-of-print Spinal Tap commentary.

This week's pick is Stoya: Video Nasty from Digital Playground. It's one of the better pieces of smut we've come across (pun intended) in recent years, mostly thanks to Stoya herself, who is more powerful than a million atomic bombs, sexually speaking.

In this frank and explicit discussion about fuckin', you'll get the inside scoop from an industry professional on the size of Charles Dera's dick, the way Charles Dera growls, Charles Dera's choice of words and whether or not Alektra Blue looks like jughead (which is not Charles Dera-related, but still worth talking about).

Finally, if you'd like to see what someone who isn't Stoya thinks about a movie starring Stoya, check out our review of Cheerleaders from a little while back. It's more relevant and important than anything that the mainstream media ever reported on anywhere in the world.


STOYA: VIDEO NASTY

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Comments

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 3:13pm — Stoya

a million atomic bombs, huh?

i'd've settled for hotter than a lubed up, un-loaded glock in the twat.

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 3:58pm — Jeff (not verified)

they all ready did that one

Morphine

Now, in the bunghole - well, that's a whole other matter... speaking of which, please take a look Here. I'd really like to get your take on my dissertation. Just a "yeah, you got it - now get a life" would do. Buckton is the only one to respond. It seems he wants to get fucked badly - Anonymous, Me and Double D, first Lexi, then Astrid, and now you (StoyaTM).

I agree with Buckton about your "surprise I'm getting fucked" look. If you didn't know you had it, now you do. Which, if you didn't know before, but now you do, will you still know not what to do? My guess is yes, because I think you know exactly what you are doing, even if that means letting everyone else think you don't (just continue to use your skills for good).

TTFN,
Jeff

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:47pm — Stoya

from what i hear...

buckton gets fucked on the daily by some hot chick that somehow manages to put up with his antics. are you sure you're not projecting your own desires on to him?

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 5:06pm — Spock BUCKTON

Yeah, I get TOO MUCH FUCKIN'

.... no more!!! Not even for you, Jeff.

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 8:09pm — Double D

what the?

What the fuck is going on here? I feel like we are on the school playground and trying to who has a bigger cock - Spock or Jeff? My money's on Spock.

Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
DD

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 9:21pm — Jeff (not verified)

I see a pattern

1. Fuck = Fun or 2. Fuck = Frustration or 3. Fuck = Filming

1. Fun - The kind everyone enjoys e.g., StoyaTM on video
2. Frustration - The kind everyone seems to use around here as an expression e.g., Fuck You Anonymous
3. Filming - Spock was dry humped by all three ladies i.e., Lexi, Astrid, StoyaTM

My statement regarding Spock wanting to get fucked badly was not about his virility, but in the use of Fuck, Fuck, and Fuck. I don't think anyone is concerned about the First Fuck. Spock and I happen to agree on the Second Fuck. And, the Third Fuck is documented throughout the Webisodes. And as Spock stated before I got posted... he has had too much fuckin'

1. Cock = a male member or 2. Cock = a cad or 3. Cock = a male fowl

By reading your statement Double D, I'm not sure which Cock you are referring to; however, I've ruled out the Third Cock. As far as the other two, I'll accept either the bigger or the smaller Cocks - just as long as I get both :-)

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 9:26am — MEAT BALL

I concur

I like cum-chuggin'.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 10:57am — Jeff (not verified)

faux pas

You would think with all that talking, I would have gotten my point across correctly. What I meant to say is that - if Spock has the bigger Cock (member) than he is also the bigger Cock (cad). Of course, rereading DD's statement, she meant the member only - my mistake. Either way, I've got the bigger balls :-)

PS - just to make this perfectly clear. I don't like any cocks, no matter what the size (except my own), not that there is anything wrong with that

PSS - Thanks for the support Meat Ball, in the subject line only not that there is anything wrong with cum-chuggin'. Oh fuck it, I've made my point(s) and thank you all for listening.

Thu, 05/29/2008 - 5:57pm — Spock BUCKTON

Don't forget, Jeff...

MEAT BALL's name always gets capitalized or else!

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 11:07am — Spock BUCKTON

Stoya can defend my honor

any damn time she wants. It makes me more of a man every time.... and how!

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 11:39am — Jeff (not verified)

i'm spending my whole morning cleaning up yesterday's shit

Spock, I wasn't questioning your manhood (we all know you're the man) - I was defending my own from being accused of being a general butthead to you. I love you man, and that's not the first time I've said those words on this site.

As far as having a strong woman defend your honor any damn time she wants (or needs to), now you and Bill Clinton have something in common. You'll have to ask him whether or not it makes him more of a man or not (right now, it's not looking too good for him)... Obama in '08 - btw, that is the most sincere thing I've said on this site (my support for Barack).

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 3:00pm — Spock BUCKTON

I love you, Jeff.

Now you've gone and made me cry.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 3:26pm — Jeff (not verified)

weeping

sniffle, sniffle... That's all I ever wanted to hear... It really is too bad you don't like taking buttsex

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 5:06pm — Jeff (not verified)

nah

He already said "ass sex kinda grosses me out. Both ways" look it up here. I've given up on him weeks ago... you on the other hand - are you going to answer my question(s)?

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 7:33pm — Stoya

i will...

if you get those questions tattooed on your leg... and take pictures. oh, and if you apologize for being a general butthead to spock.

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 9:58pm — Jeff (not verified)

actually

  • I think you have insulted Spock more by stepping in to defend his manhood than you think I have by making my statement (see my response to Double D below).
  • Also, a simple "no" would have sufficed.
  • I'll be the first to admit that I have been annoying in my pursuit of an answer... it all started with confusion between the asshole and the anal sphincter... and I thought who here would know the most about both.
  • As far as your request, my body is already marked enough, thank you. Three incisions down my spine at ages 4, 16, and 38. Accompanying incisions across my right chest (were a rib was removed) and along the small of my back (where bone was mined from my pelvis) for a spinal fusion T2-T12 during the age 16 surgery. Oh, and also four dimples across my forehead from the prior traction. As far as my legs, there isn't much unscared tissue left from all the falls I've had because of my condition (enough to tattoo an image of your ass, but not enough for my verbosity).

I didn't share the last point looking for sympathy, but to let you know that we do what we can with the bodies we have, though for some of us we aren't given a choice.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 4:36pm — Kate Hate

he does

and we're neighbors and from across the street it sounds like he's a total stud. the girl that lets him fuck her is like beyond gorgeous. i know because she bought me a shot once and listened to my psychotic drunk babble for a whole half hour before running away.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 5:18pm — Spock BUCKTON

When I'm not fuckin'

I'm whackin' it... and that can be pretty loud too. Plus, I stay up waaaay past midnight!

Thu, 05/29/2008 - 2:46pm — Kate Hate

yeah

i noticed you peeking in my (male) roommates window. JK JK!!!

Thu, 05/29/2008 - 4:37pm — Spock BUCKTON

What can I say?

He's got a nice beave

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:41pm — Anonymous (not verified)

JEsus christ, stoya you are

JEsus christ, stoya you are so fucking hot I cant really even stand it...

having you review your own movie is even better!

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:43pm — Dr. Marcus (not verified)

Is this something that will

Is this something that will continue to happen? You should always have girls reviewing their own movies since how often do you get to think about that, like what is the girl actually thinking doing this scene!

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 9:31am — MEAT BALL

We sure hope it will continue.

So far, we haven't found another pornographer to exude the guts and raw power that Stoya effortlessly radiates while deconstructing her work. That said, we have been talking to Tom Byron a lot lately...

Also, you're not related to Mr. Marcus, are you? That dude's got a huge wang.

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 7:34pm — Anonymous (not verified)

Does anyone know how to get

Does anyone know how to get into porn? I think I could do this.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 9:57am — Spock BUCKTON

Do you have girl parts or boy parts?

If you answered yes to either of those then MEAT BALL and me can likely help you out. Just come over to our place and we'll go over everthing!

You don't have teeth, right?

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 8:43pm — Anonymous (not verified)

Hey Stoya, whats your next

Hey Stoya, whats your next release? I've got all of your movis and i cant wait for any new tites!

Tue, 05/27/2008 - 10:16pm — Stoya

my first porn 10

is my next release... yay buttsex

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 4:16pm — Dard (not verified)

That was a lot of fun. I can

That was a lot of fun.

I can see why there are no audio commentaries for porn... "Uh, this is the part where the penis goes in..."

But done in this fashion... whee. Stoya's quite a personalititty.

Thu, 05/29/2008 - 9:13am — MEAT BALL

Actually, there ARE a few commentaries.

And let me tell you...Tera Patrick's insight into Island Fever is fucking inspiring. Wait, that's not the word I wanted. I meant fucking boring.

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 5:36pm — Dave Moves (not verified)

Nobody has asked the most important question...

What is being thrown at Spock at the end of this video? And who threw it?

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 6:58pm — Double D

Look closely

It's his balls.

Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
DD