We're about to whack you over the fuckin' noggin with a whole god damn fuckin' lot of NEW.

First of all, we've got a NEW review of Digital Playground's NEW movie, Control 9, starring their NEW contract girl, Gabriella Fox (which should be a major selling point, considering some of their other contract girls). And if that weren't enough, said review is being spearheaded by our NEW zoobatronic ladyfriend, Morgan (who's got some NEW commentary regarding Tommy Gunn's nutsack)!

That means you're getting NEW zoobs, NEW pornommentary (that means "porno commentary". It's a new word, and we own it!) to beat off to, NEW chances to turn this thread into an aint-it-cool-type geek forum, and...um...the same old Bucktonian facial embellishments. You don't change 'staches in mid-stream. Right, bitches?

Anyway, groove out on Morgan's breasts for a while, buy Control 9 if you're so inclined, and please, leave Tommy Gunn's nuts alone. Haven't we criticized those award-winning balls enough?

CONTROL 9