Well, it's just about that time, folks. Old Santo Clause is packing up his sled with all the meth, beave and cognac he can carry (assuming he got our lists) and we're all upping our rum-to-nog ratio to make sure we're nice and hammered for the upcoming holiday. We should mention that POPPORN will be taking the rest of the week to acquire and then heal from a few drunken injuries (which we'll most likely get while trying to steal a Wii from an adolescent), and we'll be back on Monday with more of the sometimes-true, always-relevant news/boobs/insults that you've come to rely on.

Until then, there's not gonna be a creature stirring around here. Except BUCKTON, Bangs, and the always lovely and enthralling Jessie Lee.

It started as an innocent interview. Then it turned into a tour of Buckton's office. Then it turned into a tour of Jessie's body. Then it because an all-out extravaganza of titzah-smeared office mayhem. And then...then it because something else entirely. We're not exactly sure what happened in the final moments of this video, but we're pretty sure that it turned into exactly what Christmas is supposed to be, as long as you forget all of that "birth of Jesus" stuff.

As you watch this video, it may seem like it doesn't have much to do with Christmas, or in fact with anything at all. All we can say is that you're obviously not too into the holiday spirit if you're wasting your time focusing on inconsequential tidbits like that. Besides, there's a part where BUCKTON mails a picture of Jessie's tits to Santa. What else could you ask for? A singing snowman? An electric-faced deer? Burl Ives? Fuck that.

And listen. You might notice that the video takes place on Christmas Eve, which is tomorrow. We know, that doesn't make any sense. We can only assume that this is one of those Christmas mircales everyone's always talking about. Like the time Alf delivered a baby in an elevator.

Enjoy the video. To all a good night.

CUM ON MY TATTOO 4

DIRTY SANTA WILL MAKE YOUR FANTASIES COME TRUE

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER