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VIDEO: THE POPPORN PREMIUM FUCK MAKER AWARD!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 4:53pm — MEAT BALL

Hey, they announced the Oscar nominations today! That means award season is in full-fuckin' effect, even if all the relevant awards have already been given out. We're talking about awards like the Golden Globes, the U.S. Presidency, the AVNs, and of course...the one award that makes all other awards look like a steaming pile of cummed-upon horseshit...THE POPPORN.COM PREMIUM FUCK MAKER AWARD!

The recipient of the premiere presentation of such a prestigious piece of...um..prestige, we guess...should be no surprise, at least to anyone who's ever casually glanced upon our site (No, we didn't give it to Tom Byron.)

Yes, of course it went to Stoya. Come on, who else could honestly be called this year's premium fuck maker, if not the young Philadelphia vixen with the breasts that know when to quit, the skin as soft and white as a gargantuan pile of blow, and the pink vagina of a Olympus-born goddess of lovemaking?

When it came time to choose a winner, there really was no choice at all. In fact, over the course of the next year, the only conundrum to ponder is Can we give her this award two years in a row?

But we've got until January of 2010 to figure that one out.

We love you, Stoya. And now we've proven it. You owe us, big-time.


STOYA: ATOMIC TEASE


STOYA: VIDEO NASTY


STOYA: SEXY HOT

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Comments

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:24pm — Butterman (not verified)

Congrads 2 da girl!

Major kudos to Stoya of course; I didn't even know she was actually signed on for DVD releases! Go girl! She deserves it!

Now what's it take to get nominated at that award again? Will the net allow me to post this comment? LEt me get back to my BS scene before the light runs out!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:25pm — Anonymous (not verified)

God fucking bless Stoya!

God fucking bless Stoya!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:26pm — Anonymous (not verified)

She deserves every award

She deserves every award that she wins, she is truly an original talent and beautiful and sexy!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:28pm — Anonymous (not verified)

BOOB SHOT! YES! Now we all

BOOB SHOT! YES! Now we all won an award!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:50pm — Josie Jacobs

she was a shoe-in

stoya is like the cutest hottest most awesome "fuck-maker" ever.

<3 Josie Jacobs

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 5:51pm — Anonymous (not verified)

Is there a way that I could

Is there a way that I could be a small animal and live inside Stoya's vagina? Is that possible?

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:04pm — MEAT BALL

Maybe.

At the moment, POPPORN does not employ a staff sorcerer, but we have been toying with the idea.

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:08pm — Anonymous (not verified)

is this award only for girls

is this award only for girls from Philly? if so, i agree with picking STOYA (tm). if not, where the fuck is Ashlynn's award????///

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:23pm — Brian Bangs

No!

This award is open to all those who make fuck. Stoya simply had the race beat this year...

Ashlynn, while one of our faves, was NOT the premium fuck maker this year...

- Not Fade Away

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:17pm — Brian Street Team (not verified)

Counting...

I had now idea Buckton could count to 12?!? Good thing Stoya and all her awesomeness was there to help him out with her z00bs.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:42am — Girth Brooks (not verified)

He was using cue cards.

He was using cue cards. These guys are professionals!

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:28pm — Phagg Boi (not verified)

All the boys say....

No one no one no one no one no one rocks it like Stoya Tee Emm.
The gay boys dig ya more than our new Paul Smith or Thom Browne suits.

Stoya We Loveya.

xoxoxoxo

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 7:14pm — Double D (not verified)

STOYA (tm) I would like to personally apologize to you.

I am sooooo sorry that the video is shaky AND out of focus. I was sick. Yes it's a lame-ass excuse. If I can ever make it up to you - WHENEVER and HOWEVER - just let me know darlin'.

Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
DD

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 8:04pm — Peter LiCalsi (not verified)

I don't understand why

I don't understand why everyone has a boner for this girl. I really don't. I mean, she's kind of cute, I guess, but she really overacts in her scenes and makes Sasha Grey look understated. Out of all the hot girls in the porn biz why do you guys have such a hard-on for her? And who gives a shit about the AVN awards? Those things are bought and paid for. They make the People's Choice Awards look super credible. The Best Maker of Fuck this past year was Ashli Orion. Or Ashlynn Brooke. Or Lexi Belle. Or London Keys. Or take your pick. If Stoya is your idea of a sex goddess then you guys are lame. Plus I have it from a very reliable souce in the porn biz, Chuck Westert, that the hottest slut right now is Nicole Ray. Shame on you.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:36am — Brian Bangs

Dear Peter...

We hope your death is imminent.

- Not Fade Away

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:02am — Brian Street Team (not verified)

Not only imminent, but slow

Not only imminent, but slow and painful.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 10:42am — Spock BUCKTON

I suppose i could waste my time

coming up with a million reasons why this Peter dude's comment was not only useless, silly and kinda rude but I think I'd rather use this space to list reasons why the premiere of LOST was so fucking awesome:

1. We already knew that Ms. Hawkins existed somewhere in the real world (outside of Desmond's imagination at least) because she was in the photo on that monk's desk but what a shocker to see her in league with Benjamin Linus!

2. Even I enjoyed all the shirtless Sawyer footage... and I barely even like dudes!

3. It made the weed I was smoking waaaay better.

4. The way Sayid killed that dude with knives without actually doing the knife killing. Smart move, because if he ever goes to court he can just say that the knives killed that dude and not him. I'm pretty sure that's how O.J. got off.

5. I ate some really good ice cream after smoking that weed.

6. I like the rules the writers are imposing concerning time travel... we all knew time travel was coming but it's nice to see the show avoid the pitfalls of Back to the Future or even the Terminator movies.

7. Faraday's beard is nicer this season.

8. Still really wanna bang Juliet.

9. Is Charles Widmore gonna start banging Sun?

10. I still hate Kate Austen.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:38pm — micio (not verified)

That shit be fucked up.

I missed a season of lost-- the 4th, obviously. And saw that the premiere was on for the 5th season and thought, "hey? how confusing could it be to miss a season?"

WHAT THE FUCK?

As for the Stoya / AVN naysayer. Whatever, it's not like there's a "legit" way to quantify "the fuck." (Though we're willing to try, just for fun.) Do you really want to figure out a way to scientifically quantify who fucks better? Give it a rest. Take a qualude.

----
Micio Productions

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:37pm — MEAT BALL

Also.

11. Not one, but two people say "then God help us all".

12. The way Dharma makes sure that the construction workers know how time travel works. It's relevant!

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:53am — Rick Stanko

Wait a sec...

Are you saying the People's Choice Awards AREN'T legit?
-stank

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:20pm — MEAT BALL

Chuckie?

Who's Chuck Westert? Is he related to Chuck Austin, cause that guy sucks.

Thu, 01/22/2009 - 8:48pm — Kimberly Kane (not verified)

I heart this video

Hooray Stoya! Hooray Popporn! All of you are so cute!

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:37am — Brian Bangs

No!

We did not pay Ms. Kane to say this!

- Not Fade Away

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:14am — Mark (not verified)

For the first time in my

For the first time in my life I'm proud to be an American!

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 10:34am — Scott Steele (not verified)

"Peter LiCalsi" you are one

"Peter LiCalsi" you are one sick son of a bitch.

Perhaps it's all just beard envy and he is in fact pissed at Buckton for having probably the best beard in porno. He's not even in porno, but he still has the best beard, that's how good it is.

My friend Satine Spark and I are now going molest ourselves to Stoya Sexy Hot. She loves Sasha Grey, I love Stoya. We both love self molestation.

Win win all round then,

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:49pm — Stoya

may I reiterate

how much I love popporn and all of it's readers? I feel like it needs to be said every day.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:59pm — Alistair Thrustwell III (not verified)

We love you too Stoya

Don't listen to that asshole, you're my favorite.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 2:42pm — W.D. Grossjeens (not verified)

Love, I Feel Love, I Feel Love

Philly is a shithole suburb of New Jersey. You dorks don't have the balls to live anywhere else because you're little fish. And everyone is your favorite. All of you are the biggest bunch of ass-lickers and everyone knows it and that's why people are nice to you because everyone likes to have their ass licked now and then. Including me. Who wants to lick my ass? I just took a shit and used a Pampers senstive wipe. I'm clean. But hairy. With the exception of Ashlynn your taste in pornstars sucks. I hate this place.Yet I'm coming back. Under a different name. Because I want you people to like me. Especially the creep with the beard. I saw that interview you did with Belladonna back when you were fat, before you decided to grow your hair out and quelch the skeeve factor you eminate. Hopefully someone will pull a MOVE on your asses. Just kidding. You guys are awesome. Philly is paradise. I've been drinking again. Who wants to see a thirty year old copy of a porn film Patty Hearst made while being captive by the SLA? You know you do. That spoiled little whore sure knew how to take a face gangbang.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 4:01pm — Brian Bangs

Dad?

- Not Fade Away

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:31pm — MEAT BALL

Grossjeans...

Don't change your name. That's, like, your #1 asset.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:42pm — Spock BUCKTON

True dat, but

Grossjeans spelled JLA wrong.

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:59pm — Brian Bangs

*MWAH*

We love you too!

- Not Fade Away

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 2:50pm — Scott Steele (not verified)

But you love...

me more right?

Please say you do so I can go brag to people and maybe arrange the wedding

Fri, 01/23/2009 - 3:25pm — Anonymous (not verified)

Stoya...

You make me wanna be a better man... and touch myself in very un-Christian places.

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