Looking for a sensual and freezing cold destination for your next romantic getaway? Why not travel to Iceland, where you can enjoy the world famous penis museum (not the mention round-the-clock Bjork and Sigur Ros concerts)? The penis museum was started back in 1997, and it now boasts a walloping wang collection consisting of 143 penises from 41 different mammals, all kept fresh for the tasting in sexy glass jars, filled with sensual formaldehyde.

Just kidding. You're not actually supposed to taste them. We found that out the hard way back in 2001, and now we're banned from Iceland until 2021. Total bull-shit.

Anyway, Sigurður Hjartarson, a former art history teacher operates the Icelandic Phallological Museum in the town of Husavik, which isn't far from the thriving metropolis of Rejkjavik, where the museum used to be housed. He says the question he's most often asked is why he'd do something like this, and, in his words, "well, the only answer I've got is that somebody has to do this". Otherwise, if you wanted a close up view of 143 different mammal-wangs, you'd have to sweet-talk a lot of fuckin' horses and boars and llamas and shit, and who has the time for that?

"Some people don't know how to react to this, " he elaborated. "Maybe they think I am queer or a pervert or something like that. And I like that."

Hmmm....not entirely sure what he meant by that. That could actually be a mis-quote, but it really is what it sounded like he said. I dunno - check the video for yourself.

The museum hosts specimens ranging from tiny hamsters all the way up to the mammoth-wanged sperm whale (and maybe a mammoth?), but get this - there are no human wangs in the whole damn place. At the moment, four men have donated their wangs upon their demise, but none of the four have yet made that journey to the beyond with the reaper. We're really hoping that Napier lends his wang. That thing belongs in a fuckin' museum, you know?

While visiting the museum, be sure to check out the lights used to illuminate the impressive wang collection. They're made out of buffalo testicles. That's not something you'd wanna miss, you know?

JACK ON BLONDES

MANDINGO UNLEASHED 2