Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

By: Daddy's Little Girl
In-House Review - Jun 25 2004

Quick Review: Anal-focused raunch hosted by comedian
and jovial con-man, Skeeter Kerkove. Fantastic quotes and unintentionally hilarious music montages are truly entertaining, but repetitive locations, props and standard action keep this an average ass-banging flick. Classic Quotes: "God bless pornography and sodomy," "We're breaking down the walls of sodomy - the
suppression - it's crumbling down like the Berlin
wall," "It's going to be a pleasure to have this sassy
little Barbie doll just getting sodomized with a love
and care you don't find too often." ? Skeeter Kerkove. Scene-by-scene: Scene 1: The movie opens with Gia Paloma in a red vinyl corset, g-string, vinyl-topped fishnets and red platform heels. The music is so ridiculous it's actually funny. She climbs the stairs slowly and enters a bathroom for her introduction montage, which involves some cigarette smoking and a series of embarrassingly graceless dance moves. Cut to Gia and Skeeter together. He introduces the coming scene with a fantastic smattering of soon-to-be classic one-liners before lubing Gia's ass and inserting an inflatable, vibrating buttplug. He pumps it up, calls Gia a good girl and exits the scene. Enter Bad Bob and Scott Lyons. Gia gives them both sloppy blowjobs, ripe with saliva-drooling and deep-throating. This leads to a two-cock face stretching. The hardcore action includes reverse cowgirl anal, DP, A2M, and hard DA ramming. The only real highlights are some interesting camera angles that catch Gia's thighs rippling under pressure. Money shot has Gia on the floor opening wide for a face, chest and mouth full of cum. She gurgles but doesn't swallow. This scene is sloppy and all together raunchy. Nothing groundbreaking here, I'll give it a C. Scene 2: Lyla Lei's introduction montage is filmed outdoors. She's smoking a cigarette, dressed in black PVC booty-shorts and a matching halter-top. The music is again hilarious - a fantastically cheeky, pseudo-metal, electronica jam complete with gong. Scene cuts to Lyla and Skeeter. He delivers some more mania before inserting the inflatable, vibrating buttplug into Lyla's ass. He exits; Chris Charming enters and immediately sticks his cock into Lyla's mouth for a sloppy blowjob replete with noisy deep-throating into ball sucking and some hesitant ass licking. The hardcore action includes deep pussy fucking, A2M, gaping ass shots and anal cowgirl. Some light ass and pussy spanking and a
fingers-in-the-mouth gagging are the only real highlights here. Money shot has Chris Charming cumming in Lyla's mouth and face. She swallows and opens her
mouth to show us. Average action earns this scene a C. Scene 3: Crystal Ray's introduction scene is shotoutdoors. She's smoking a cigarette; wearing gold booty-shorts, a matching string-bikini top and black thigh-high PVC boots. Cheesy, funky, electro music with hysterical synthesized whistle-blasts makes this montage fairly entertaining. Scene cuts to a Skeeter and Crystal. After inserting the buttplug, Skeeter exits and Dave Hardman enters. Crystal proceeds with a horribly unsatisfactory blowjob that has Dave Hardman
fighting to maintain an erection. The scene wanders through a series of positions, including DP (cock/pussy, plug/ass), cowgirl, A2M and reverse anal
cowgirl. Money shot has Dave Hardman standing while Crystal's on the floor with her eyes closed and her mouth open. He cums in her mouth, but she spits most
of it out and then pretends to swallow the rest. This scene is sub-par: D. Scene 4: Opening montage has the fireplug-shaped Britney Madison, dressed in crotchless, black, PVC booty-shorts, matching PVC boots and a black and clear plastic corset top as she gracelessly waddles up a flight of stairs to the bathroom. She's busting out all over. Big, sloppy boobs, a jiggly belly, and her hard, trashy features keep her far away from the big-but-beautiful category. Britney handles her cigarette like an amateur, puffing but not inhaling. The music hops along like a dying electronic frog, which makes for another unintentionally humorous introduction montage. Scene cuts to Britney and Skeeter. He spouts off more of his maniac philosophies before sliding the all-to-familiar inflatable buttplug into Britney's ass and then handing the scene to Benjamin Bratt and Mark Wood. The action begins as Britney gets her ass spanked until her big cheeks are rosy red. Britney's temperament here is thoroughly unattractive ? she's got a potty-mouth that won't quit. A blowjob has Britney sucking one cock while the other guy pushes her head down from behind. We get some good deep-throating into a mouth-stretching double suck. All the while Benjamin Bratt and Mark Wood trade off administering pumps to Britney's inflatable plug. Skeeter pops in to deliver the celebratory sixteenth pump. That thing's got to be the side of a grapefruit in her ass by now, but there's no sign that the studs have any intentions of letting up. Pump eighteen leaves Britney squealing, her legs shaking frantically like an electrocuted bulldog. She redoubles her cock-sucking efforts with reckless, noisy abandon. As the twentieth pump is delivered, Britney screams and looks confused. The hardcore action begins and includes: cowgirl, DP, A2M, DA and gaping ass shots. Highlights are the vulgar Britney's not-so creative cussing, pump 21, Ben and Mark's stylish teamwork and the use of the "curtain-cord" DP drilling that keeps one cock advancing as the other retreats. Money shot has Britney on her knees in front of the couch; eyes on camera, mouth open wide for a face full of cum. She accepts load one, then holds it until load two is delivered. She swallows both. Though not particularly sexually exciting, this is a fairly entertaining scene. C+ Scene 5: Introductory montage has Jayna Oso suited in a black PVC ensemble that looks like it's straight out of some cyber-fantasy video game. Red thigh-high boots complete the outfit. A cigarette clings unnaturally to her lips, looking more like candy than a tobacco product. Comical pseudo-techno and hysterical camera work make this montage pure cheese. She ends up in the bathroom, writhing around on the tub ledge, pawing herself with her elbow-high battle gloves. Scene cuts to Skeeter and Jayna. Skeeter ambles through another set of one-liners, (some of them recycled,) as he wraps his big hand around Jayna's neck for a playful strangle. He inserts the buttplug, introduces the stud and then exits the scene. Alex Sanders gets down to business right away. He playfully pumps Jayna's plug while asking her, "Who's your daddy?" Great interplay and good chemistry are present, thanks to Alex's confidant, controlling disposition. The hardcore action begins as Alex slides his cock into Jayna's ass along side the buttplug for some DA penetration. Scene cuts to Alex sitting on the couch. Jayna gives him some great head, complete with perfect deep-throating. If you're into blowjob scenes, this is the best one of the movie. This scene includes: anal cowgirl, reverse anal cowgirl, doggie-style, A2M, and several other positions. Highlights are some gaping ass shots and an Alex-induced Jayna handstand. Money shot has Jayna on her knees in front of the couch. She stretches her mouth open wide and receives a wad of thick cum on her tongue and chin. She swallows. B- -Daddy's Little Girl