So, we like Janine a whole lot around here at POPPORN. It's safe to say that we've given her a fair amount of press over the course of the past year, what with her unfortunate legal trouble (not to mention her relationship with fan-favorite double-i'd she-male Vaniity), but honestly, I can believe I didn't know about this. Apparently, she's locked in a custody battle with none other than Sandra Bullock, star of Hope Floats, Demolition Man, and the upcoming romantic comedy I Shit Boyfriends (written by Warren Ellis, all people!).

(I should note that, since I find Sandra Bullock entirely unbearable in nearly every way, I will not be using any images of her during the course of this story. I will instead use photos of Warren Beatty, who is beautiful in every way.)

Hey, Janine's out of the clink! Dig that shit. The legendary porn actress, as you may recall, was sent to prison on charges of tax evoysion (it's a word, look it up). But thanks to some unspoken-of deal (possibly good behavior, possibly blackmail), Janine's being set free a full two months early, which is bitchin' awesome news for those of us who love the hell out of Janine, like Vanity, her transsexual lover (are they still going at it? I've sort of lost track).

A few days back, right before she headed off to jail for tax avoision (we don't say "evasion", we say "avoision"), Janine appeared on the Howard Stern show, calling in for one last word before she became the hottest prison chick since Vera Drake. Since Stern is basically unfunny, uninteresting and just plain unbearable to sit through, we missed it, but we found some internet shits that told us what she said, and get this: Janine's in love with a transsexual! Sweet shit!

Holy shit! They're sending Janine to jail!

It's true. Former Penthouse Pet, Vivid girl and teenage MEAT BALL's favorite pornographic actress, Janine has been sentenced to six months in the clink, or the joint, or whatever you want to call it... and for tax evasion, of all things! And before you say to yourself that tax evasion isn't a hardcore offense, remember that this is the same shit they locked Al Capone up for, and that dude was one bad motherfucker (according to DeNiro's portrayal of him, at least), so we can only assume that Janine's been just as bad as Capone. Isn't it sort of neat to picture Janine beating somebody to death with a baseball bat over a fancy group dinner?