It seemed like POPPORN was finally over. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. We could go back to our honest trades and forget about the degenerate raconteurs invading every nook and crevice of our collective existence since we first happened upon the porn industry. We could learn to live with what we had done to the world while running this award-winning and critically praised porn-themed website. We could move on.

Then James Deen arrived and shot everything to hell.

Go figure.

Peep these shits, motherwhammers!

Evil Angel's got a new director! We heard a few weeks back that their roster was getting set to expand, so we naturally assumed that a spot was being opened up for either John Stagliano's 18-year-old cousin Mitchy "The Crunch" Stagliano (who had mentioned some basement-shot gonzo footage to John during the recent Stagliano family reunion) or Paul Thomas (who suggested during a recent CalOSHA meeting that he was "fucking finished" with feature porn and was ready to move into some "seriously fucked up movies" involving "poo and bruises and all kinds of fucked up fuckin' shit"). But it turns out we were wrong on both fronts, because Evil Angel's newest director is none other than big-time porn superstar and frequent POPPORN contributor, Bobbi Starr!

This week: Ewoks gone wild. Middle aged men still pretending to be hot women on the Internet. Politicians in New York tackle the hard choices of the day, decides that lap dances are subject to sales taxes.

This week: Adult's primary testing center — Open? Closed? Consult a Magic 8 Ball? Parents freak the fuck out over an English teacher moonlighting as a romance novelist, forget their kids hate reading. The New York Times discovers sex toys.

(Bobbi Starr photo by Jeff Koga. Follow him on twitter!)

Some penis extenders actually work, apparently — I have a great feeling about scientists discovering unicorns now. The CDC isn't just the last line of defense against zombies, it's the place where clueless docs rail against porn. Destined to be the most boring parody ever made: the upcoming royal wedding. You know I'm right.

This week: No glove, no love and that'll be 14 large, Cal-OSHA tells Hustler. Joe Francis reminds us why IDs proving the girls in your movies are just a formality. Kylie Ireland's got a tag and a can of spray paint in her heart.

What's new in Juliland.com: Angel Vain stars in an all-new Fotoland set! March jGrrl Aiden Ashley wraps up her reign with an original Movieland set!

Neither tsunami or nuclear meltdowns prevent Japan from mixing a little WTF when it comes to sex in their movies.

Welcome to our new video series, entitles Your Porno's Broke!. It's our new forum for exposing porno movies with poor quality control. Specifically, audio irregularities.

So, uh, we got our screener copies of jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex: Fellatio the other day, and naturally, being big fans of wang-suckin', we popped it in and watched a bit. Now, this isn't exactly a complaint, but I gotta say, we were surprised by what we saw. Since the movie is marketed as an instructional blowjob video, we expected to hear a lot about, well, blowjobs. Instead, the movie was mostly footage of porn performers talking about the oft-reviled (but actually the best) Star Wars film, Attack of the Clones.

Watch the video. See for yourself.

(Ed. note - Sorry folks. Last week, I was enjoying a vacation in Spain and didn't have the opportunity to publish this article from the glorious Bobbi Starr. Fortunately, MEAT BALL kept you entertained during my absence. With that being said, we simply couldn't let this nugget go to waste. So, while it's late, feast on it! - Bangs)

This week: Vivid scores one-two WTF punch with vodka and Charlie Sheen directing gig. Donald Trump reminds us all why "You're fired," is probably a blessing in disguise. Reality show star proves that yes, there are lines they won't cross (but they don't mind publicizing it in a lawsuit).

This week: Charlie Sheen gets porn parodies made of him, and offered roles in porn movies. Who would have ever seen that coming? G'day. My name is Crocodile Dundee and I'm a sex addict. Paris Hilton sex tape, now on your cell phone so…yay?

This week: Does Charlie Sheen's life need a porn parody? Isn't the real thing good enough? Nevada Senator Harry Reid is no fan of the world's oldest profession. Britons like porn, say so in a debate — that's so English, isn't it?

(First off, let me offer a huge apology. See, we were out in Los Angeles shooting our upcoming Official Revenge of the Nerds Parody last week so Bobbi's article didn't get posted. However, Bobbi goes to great lengths to track down the most ridiculous sex related items of the week for you entertainment so we would be remiss if we didn't post her article from last week. So, with that being said, Ms. Bobbi Starr and Your Week in Porn! - Bangs )

This week: The LA county health forgets about that whole fourth amendment "technicality." Porn P2P lawsuits continue to win friends and influence people (no, they're really not). Japan invents a clap-off bra. Of course. And much, much more.

This week: Sperm. It's what's in yogurt — at least in New Mexico. New Yorker traumatized and sues over handjob, wins "Pussy of the Year" award. LA City Attorney looking into mandatory industry condom use, industry looks wistfully at the days when it was underground. And much, much more.

Not too long ago, my friends at POPPORN shot me over a link to a blog. In two posts, its webmaster, Lynsey G, contends that rough blow jobs, in all of its gag-filled and mucous-inducing oral copulation, are rooted in misogyny. You can check them both out here:

Cock Sucking in Queer Porn: What an Experience, Part II

Cock Sucking in Queer Porn: What an Experience!

This week: Turns out those vending machines that sell used underwear isn't the weirdest thing in Japan. Sitcom mediocrity breeds an obsession with blow and porn stars. The Internet really is a series of tubes — when it comes to porn in 2011, anyway. And much, much more.

This week: The film that no one (except Steve Hirsch) asked for: Ocotomom, the movie. If I could give advice to youth of today, it would be that penis enlargement kits don't work. Playboy comes to the iPad, cleaning kits for the iPad expected to meet with unprecedented demand. And much, much more.

What's new in Juliland.com: A photoset and movie with January's JGrrl, Jayden Cole (say that three times fast), Fotoland sets from Angel Vain and Bridgette B. and a movieland update starring Audrey Bitoni!

Oh no she didn't — Octomom dips her toes in the porn pool.