Hey New Sensations, your porno's broke!

We spent yesterday watching Dear Abby, the recent installment of New Sensations' Romance series. While it had some decent fuck action in it, the story spent way too much time dealing with suckers whining about whether or not they could find true love. Seriously, they should call this movie "Dear Blabby", there's so much jeep-honkin' yackin' goin' on in this thing!

Who wants to watch that? Not us, that's for sure.

Them dudes from the Reno 911 TV show sure are ultimate bastions of comedy, if you ask me. A lot of folks, when faced with a pornographic spoof of their own work, would snidely turn their noses upwards and maybe utter a "well, I never" or something of the sort towards the smut. Even barring that, there's few mainstream personalities that I've seen openly embracing the sexed-up version of themselves, much less in a public forum. But that's why I like the Reno 911 crew so much. Them dudes went so far as to actually hold a public screening of the movie, boasting their x-rated lookalikes' exploits with the greatest candor!

I guess that, perhaps, I ought to come clean right off the bat.

Lee Roy never said that New Sensations should "suck it". I made that part up. That's a trick of the trade in the news media business. It's a way to get people reading. You gotta shock them with the headline. Like way back a hundred years ago or so when that newspaper printed that headline about Dewey beating Truman. It was an attention grabber. So if anybody from New Sensations is reading this, I apologize if you had any hurt feelings or anything from the headline. Still, you just lost the talents of Lee Roy Myers, the premier spoof-man in the porn industry. So that's gotta be a drag.

I know for a lot of us, it's tough to remember anything that happened more than three or four days ago, let alone a full month. But back in January, we mentioned an upcoming Big Lebowski spoof that New Sensations was getting ready to drop into our proverbial laps. At the time, we knew that director extraordinaire Lee Roy Myers was planning to cast some regular joes (aka non-pornographic performers) to round out a few choice roles in the cast, but aside from that, we really didn't have a clue who else would be appearing in the thing, let alone who would be filling Jeff Bridges resin-coated shoes in the lead role as Jeffrey Lebowski, better know as the dude.

I've never been too big of a James Bond fan. I mean, I could never argue with the bonafide awesomeness of Goldfinger and I can't deny that I spent a good 50 hours per week playing the Goldeneye video game when I was 18-20, but aside from that, I just never really dug the mythos too much. If high-class spy shit was the name of the game, I'd rather just enjoy the adventures of Nick Fury and his cohorts in S.H.I.E.L.D. (or to a lesser extent, the less-funny-each-time-you-watch-it Austin Powers movies). So, given my rather tepid interest in the Bond franchise, it's no big surprise that I've never seen Octopussy, a film oft-classified among the worst the Bond franchise had to offer. That said, New Sensations' recent announcement of an Octopussy spoof actually has me a little bit excited.

Hey, we got more porno spoof news for you! Weird, huh? I mean, when was the last time you heard about a porno company creating a parody of a popular TV show or movie?

We're not really in the business of breaking news. Sure, if we get a tip on some juicy tidbit we're gonna write it up, but we're far too understaffed and those understaff's are far too underpaid (meaning, not paid) to really be out there, hitting the pavement digging up dirt. And ya know what? That's okay.

BUT, I think we got ourselves some breaking news...

New Sensations presents their newest movie in their parody series. Scrubs: A XXX Parody takes place at Naked Heart hospital where young doctors DJ and Ellie (James Deen and Ashlynn Brooke) not only work but are also a couple. DJ notices that people really need to get laid and works his tail off to make that happen. Will the young doctor be able to get the job done? Find out on Scrubs: A XXX Parody.

Here we have the newest installment in the Bound to Please series from Digital Sin starring contract girl Sadie West and a group of fairly new performers. So let’s lie back and see what is in store for us in Bound to Please 6.

So obviously the porno studios are in love with these fucking parodies. Of course this allows for some of the best porno titles I’ve ever heard such as: Itty Bitty Titty Gang Bang, Schlong Blade, Men in Black Men, Lawrence of a Labia, E3: The Extra-Testicle, 28 Gays Later, Roadclit, Lord of the Cock Rings, Clithanger, Acockalupse Now, Honey, I Fucked the Kids, A Cockwork Orange, As Hard As It Gets, Choke-A-Hontas, and of course everyone’s favorite family alien: ALF: Anal Loving Furries. Now, not each of these movies is actually a parody, some just come up with a witty turn of phrase for the title, but you know what I'm getting at!