With it being Thanksgiving we decided to troll the internet in hopes of finding something that, as a group, we were thankful for. We succeeded in finding this video that proved to us that we were thankful for not being completely and totally crazy as these guys.

However, at the same time we realized that we were not thankful for not being completely and totally awesome as these guys.

Anyways, see ya next week ya losers!

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Should you choose to visit Dale Dabone's twitter page, you will note that Mr. Dabone (pronounced "Dab-One", naturally) does not choose to describe himself simply as a "porn star" or "adult performer". Nor does he opt for the oft-chosen tag of "actor/model". Instead, the veteran porn performer describes himself in the following bold and valiant manner: "Actor/Musician/Stunt Rider/Scoundrel".

While it is, regrettably, rather difficult to find footage of Mr. Dabone performing stunts, practicing scoundrelism, or (again, regrettably) acting...it's fairly easy to find footage of him rocking the fuck out from behind his rack-style drum rig. Really, anytime you see someone describing themselves online as a musician, you can rest assured that they've got lots and lots of footage to back it up.

Also, I lied. I was able to find stunt footage as well.

Brian Street Team is dead. Killed by a falling Wurlitzer jukebox, dopped from a nearby window by some clumsy movers while Brian happened to be strutting along underneath unaware of the danger capriciously teetering above his head. Citizens rushed to his aid, but were too late as the impact of the organ crushed Street Team's body almost entirely, with the exception of his left arm, which somehow avoided impact. In his left hand was his iPhone, which is said to have been in the process of googling the historic 1981 SNL performance by the legendary punk outfit Fear, which may have caused a momentarily lapse in awareness that sadly, prevented the rising pornographic star from noticing the vintage musical novelty careening towards him.

We recently cracked open Smash Pictures' new Halloween XXX Parody, figuring it would be a totally bad-ass flick that we could totally whack off to. I mean, there's bad-ass movies and there's totally boss-fuckin' bad-ass movies, if you know what I mean. We figured this would be in the latter category. The most bad-ass of bad-ass, if you will.

Little did we know, the movie would be so fuckin' weird! Check out this exclusive clip for a sample. Smash Pictures, your porno's broke!

Something goofy is happening again. Earlier today, we tried to sit down and have a collective office whack-off to that new movie from Belladonna. We've always enjoyed her work, and always found whacking off to it to be a great way to whittle away a lazy September afternoon. More than ever now that she's performing again, in fact. But then we popped Dick Sauce into the DVD player, and, well...something just wasn't right here. Watch the video and see.

Also, the movie's name is all wrong. There's, like, no sauce at all in the whole thing. I would have called it Tiger Muffs or Mega Cat Fuck or something like that.

Something weird happened. Completely by accident, we ran into Alexis Texas a few weeks ago, and she was a lot hairier than we had expected. Not in a "big bush" kind of way, because we'd honestly find that pretty enticing (and she usually sports a bit of bush as it is, so fuck it), but more of a "bearded woman" kind of vibe. That is to say, she's sporting a full beard at the moment. Sort of goofy.

Anyway, we caught a new vid with the newly-hirsute Alexis. Enjoy, you fuckin' scumbags.

Many moons ago, before actually having met the charming young woman, we had just naturally assumed that Shyla Stylez was one of those women with a deep, throaty, perhaps even smoky voice. Probably because we so often see her grimacing in what appears to be a pleasurable pain while she's getting totally fucked in porno movies. But as it turns out, she's got a rather bubbly, some would even say cherubic voice. It was a pleasant surprise. Not quite as pleasant as getting to view her massive fucking juggs in person, but pleasant nonetheless.

Anywhut, BUCKTON grooved out with Madame Stylez (which I always preferred to pronounce "Sty-lezz") alittle while back at one of them Exxxotica shindigs, And we taped it!

Hey New Sensations, your porno's broke!

We spent yesterday watching Dear Abby, the recent installment of New Sensations' Romance series. While it had some decent fuck action in it, the story spent way too much time dealing with suckers whining about whether or not they could find true love. Seriously, they should call this movie "Dear Blabby", there's so much jeep-honkin' yackin' goin' on in this thing!

Who wants to watch that? Not us, that's for sure.

Hey, lookit that! We got an interview with the one and only Phil Varone, celebrity rehab aficionado and drummer of Saigon Kick and Prunella Scales, not to mention a little known rock and roll outfit called Skid Row! In addition to his rock and roll chops, he's also been known to fuck chicks form time to time, and to tape it! And to have it sold by Vivid, the national leader in celebrity sex tapes!

Hey, we still haven't used up all of our footage from the AEE Expo that happened way the fuck back in January! Rough shits! We'll get through all of it eventually. We've been fuckin busy, okay?

Anyfuckinway, today's video stars Adrenalynn, who you might remember as being that one lady who has that tattoo on her butthole! Also, she does porn! And she's really friendly!

Hey, it ain't everyday that we get to interview AVN's Best New Starlet for our site! I mean, it probably happens once a year or so, because once we interview them once, we probably won't get them on camera again, at least for a little while. You know, we need some variety, and there's only one new best new starlet each year. But whatever, that ain't the point, you dickheads. The point is, we grooved out with Gracie Glam! And it was awesome!

Hey, it's Friday. I don't know about you motherfuckers out there, but around here at POPPORN, we motherfuckers like to groove the fuck out on Friday. And I'm not talkin' about some kind of bitch-ass lame-suckaz kind of groovin' out, either. No, I'm talkin' about full-bore, whole-hog, entire-swine groovin' the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying that when POPPORN grooves the fuck out, we groove the fuck out to the beat of the fuckin' night. We wham Friday on it's fuckin' head and knock it's socks right out of it's ass. We like to fuckin' party, is what I'm fuckin' saying.

All of which makes this music video from Brian Pumper all the more essential.

Listen. Belladonna doesn't fuck anybody who doesn't have a current test. So don't expect to see any hot BUCKTON-on-Bella action during the course of this video. Because due to the ever-relevant health regulations in the industry, such a thing won't happen until BUCKTON makes his way over to AIM (unless they shut that place down again, I can't remember).

There we were, sneaking up to the roof to play dice, listen to Aerosmith and huff glue, and who should we find waiting for us, but Bluebird Films contract star Dylan Ryder! What the fuck?

Hey, motherfuckers. While grooving out in California (and shooting our mega-epic Man vs. Pussy movie, which you should be buying), BUCKTON was lucky enough to spend the morning with Asa Akira, who you may know from that movie where she gets all insatiablized and does it with a bunch of guys at once. These two legends, Asa and BUCKTON, spent the morning exercising, gorging themselves on eggs benedict, watching season five of Kids in the Hall, and then eventually settling down for an interview.

Unfortunately, we missed all but the interview. Still, enjoy!