We fucked up. Yesterday, June 18th was Randy Spears' birthday, and we fucking missed it. We thought we'd try to make it up to porno's awesomest dude by posting a stellar review of his latest directorial effort on our avant-garde blog. But that all went to shit when, frankly, the movie was a little sub-par.

For this week's video, we're throwing two sides of the proverbial porno coin at you.

On one side, we've got the living porn legend, Wicked’s Randy Spears.. This dude's been boning in front of the camera for nearly a quarter century, and he's still outfucking most of the sorry excuses for studs in this industry. He's been named POPPORN.com's #1 dude in porn by our esteemed Spock Buckton, and with good cause. He's gonna lay down his hypothetical plans for a collaboration with Steven Spielberg, as well as his ideas on how to modify his cock for an infantry scenario (it'll make a little bit more sense when you watch it).

On the other side, we've got a few minutes of choice footage starring Adam & Eve Pictures contract star Bree Olson. This gorgeous young blond bombshell has been in the industry for less than two years, but as she says, she's done a lot of fucking in that short time, earning her an AVN Best New Starlet award for 2008. She's gonna fill you in on the nasty details of her very favorite scene, her first on-screen squirt experience and how she feels about hooking up with fans.