Peep these shits, motherwhammers!

Evil Angel's got a new director! We heard a few weeks back that their roster was getting set to expand, so we naturally assumed that a spot was being opened up for either John Stagliano's 18-year-old cousin Mitchy "The Crunch" Stagliano (who had mentioned some basement-shot gonzo footage to John during the recent Stagliano family reunion) or Paul Thomas (who suggested during a recent CalOSHA meeting that he was "fucking finished" with feature porn and was ready to move into some "seriously fucked up movies" involving "poo and bruises and all kinds of fucked up fuckin' shit"). But it turns out we were wrong on both fronts, because Evil Angel's newest director is none other than big-time porn superstar and frequent POPPORN contributor, Bobbi Starr!

Sometimes our best just isn't good enough. Am I right?

Let's say you spend all of your time creating porn that pushes the limits, testing cultural taboos and exploring that great maze of human sexuality looking for the absolute extreme expression of depravity wrapped in a exploratory blanket. It's still not enough. Sure, maybe companies like Evil Angel and their stable of directors push their fair share of buttons with their milk-enemas and gaping butt holes like so many puffy, pink pouting blow fish spitting frothy man-milk, but ultimately, unless you're willing to go to the point of amateur snuff films or work for JM Productions, your content just isn't as extreme as it could be.

Why? Because the homosexuals will always go one step further.

It's been a long day at work. You're belly is starting to grumble, and you don't have nearly enough energy to cook dinner. As you drive past a McDonald's, you think, "Damn, I could really go for a Big Mac right about now." (This wouldn't be my personal preference, but with billions and billions served, I suspect this craving is experienced by many.) The building looks suspiciously deserted, and as you pull up to the drive through window, you find it closed and obscured by a notice stating, "Closed by the US Supreme Court for distributing unhealthy products within the community."

Yes, there are lots of people in the world that like to call porn stars skanks, whores, and skiz and usually believe that most, if not all of them, are infested with genital dissolving diseases that are sure to put the hex on society at large or at the very least, the good Christian majority. However, what these residents of "Squaresville" might not realize is that the adult industry is actually pretty darn strict about self-regulating itself, requiring that performers are tested every 30 days for Chlamydia, Gonnorhea and HIV.