Perhaps you haven't heard but there's a brand new celebrity sex DVD now available from your favorite online or brick and mortar adult retailer. While the professional women and men who toil endlessly day after day catching and pitching incredible amounts of bodily fluid are great and all, let's face facts. What everyone ultimately wants to see at the end of the day are people like Scarlett Johannson, Brad Pitt and Megan Fox getting deebed down (and out) in the most explicit and preferably perverted of ways because that shit is RARE.

If there is one thing we know nothing about it's Juliette Lewis and Terry Richardson. Honestly, we weren't even aware that either one of them was alive. In fact, what we know about them could fill a thimble. We know that one of them is an actress and has appeared in some films from time-to-time and the other is a photographer whose photos appear in magazines and other things from time-to-time. We're not sure which is which. Other than that, we've got nothing.

"Jugs" would be too large, "mounds" would be too small so let's just agree that what Zoe Voss was showing off at this years AEE show last week were a pair of brand new "yams".

Zoe, well known for being slight in stature (if not defining the very word, "waif"), unleashed a new shape last week and proudly proclaimed that her boobs were no longer her own. After a short time away from the porn industry and spending sometime on her native homeland, Zoe returned to the fold with a new figure that simply said, "splendid".

How would you like me to burst one of your ovaries? Well, try this on for size...

This week, POPPORN.com celebrates its 4th anniversary. That's right, 4 years ago this week we posted this very first article on this here blog and got underway with being fucking awesome. In addition, beside our "awesome" quest which we accomplished in record time, our 4-year anniversary marks POPPORN.com as the longest running adult new outlet in the world. Pretty impressive.

In what will go down as one of the greatest upsets since Rulon Gardner defeated Alexander Karelin (look it up, dick), porn sensation Jessie Andrews took home trophies not only for New Performer of the Year but also for Acting Performance of the Year - Female earlier this week at the 2012 XBIZ Awards.

Big news, folks, especially if you happen to be age 18 or older and haven't yet earned your high school diploma. Cassadra Cruz wants to fuck you!

I'm not entirely sure why, or what makes it newsworthy (not that that's ever been criteria for POPPORN), but AVN broke the news this morning that the Peruvian/New-Yorkian porn performer is planning to bang a high-school senior. Weird, huh?

While the world waited with baited breath for the outcome of yesterday's Iowa Caucuses (GO SANTORU, GO!), we here at POPPORN rallied around our computer and rotary dial telephone in anticipation of a single email being delivered to our, now shared, inbox.

Here's what I don't get. When an adult performer gets signed to a contract with a porno studio there's a helluva lot of fanfare. Press releases and parades and what not. Yet, when a performer's contract ends or she decides not to re-up with that same studio or, in a lot of cases, the studio does not wish to re-up with the performer there's not a peep.

Why is that?

We've been toying with the idea of having adult performer, sometimes freelance car crasher and insurance fraud-er, often-times free lovin' groper/creeper and all around nice guy/pain in most people's asses James Deen host our coverage of the 2012 AVN Awards to be held, January 21st, 2012 at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, NV.

After having typed that headline I am finding it difficult to add anything else to this article that will benefit you, the reader.

So yeah, Tori Black, hottest bizzo in the universe (besides Betsy Braddock) is emerging from her hibernation to appear and sign at the Elegant Angel booth during this years AEE show in Las Vegas.

In case you didn't know, Tori took her cookies and went home a while back and has been on extended hiatus. Perhaps this will be the first step towards a return to things like this, but even if it's not, we'll be excited to see her pretend to remember who we are.

Hey, idiot! Yeah, you! Did you know Janine Lindemulder is back?

Hey, are you one of those idiots who really respects Scarlett Johannson as an actor, or, even moreso, as a musician? Or maybe one of the rest of us who find her sort of vapid and painful to watch but still think she's terribly, terribly fuckable? Hey, guess what? Some big-time charity organization is giving you the chance to bang her, provided that you can pony up the dough!

While we're not the brightest lights in Vegas we do know a little bit about a little bit. That's why today, before we knock off on our Thanksgiving vacation we're dolling out a bit of harsh reality laced with some good, old-fashioned, free advice. Consider yourselves lucky.

Ready?

If you are thinking about starting a porn company (well actually, our first bit of advice might be to NOT start a porn company but let's continue, shall we?) and that porn company is planning to release physical product (meaning DVDs or Blu-ray's) for sale to the public don't make your first movie a parody.

In news that is surprising to everyone besides we here at POPPORN, yesterday, our favorite porn blog that isn't us announced they were officially for sale. The press release said, "For the past eight years, Fleshbot has made its home at Gawker Media. But as GM has grown, its sales strategy and technology platform have ceased to effectively support Fleshbot's needs. We think someone else could be a much better partner to grow the site with us...and as such, Fleshbot is for sale."

Here's the translation:

Today, Elegant Angel (one of our most favorite studios) announced a new line they will be releasing called Best New Starlets. While this may not be a shockingly original concept given porn's tendency to obsess over all things, "new" it's pretty spot on when Elegant Angel does it because...well, it's Elegant Angel.