Spunk'd 7

By: Spock BUCKTON
In-House Review - Nov 12 2007

Hey fuck-o's! Spock Buckton here and I'm currently cleanin' my sheets from the cum Meat Ball shot all over my leg and Star Wars sheets last night! Lately I've been into what I like to call speedo-compin'. That's when you watch one of these cum shot flicks like Spunk'd 7 and see if you can cum as fast as the dude does. Not that these dudes cum fast, but these "speedo comps" just combine a whole buncha cum shots with each scene starting a minute or so before the jizz explosion. Now, I don't know about you but if I'm gonna be doing that kind of speed cumming I need to really get into it. Here are the preparation steps I suggest. 1. Watch the DVD trailers: These can be found under Bonus Features or Special Features at the main menu. Watching the trailers should get your wang to a nice semi-erect status. This way you don't have to waste any time during the actual feature getting your "dick diamond" on. 2. Touch your butthole: Now this might sound gay to a few of you but it works like gangbusters and once a few sluts find out that you're into that shit you can get them to lick your ass which is way better than shoving stuff in it. 3. Hit your cock with books: Like, big ones. Like one's that you own but never read. Trust Spock on this one. 4. Speak in "fuck tongue" while you're watching: Now, this shit is the most important step in speed fucking. You've all spoken in "fuck-tongue" at least once while hitch-hiking to the moon. It's those random noises and half-words that come out of your mouth when you're about to spew some ooze. Here's one of my faves: "yuh yuh yuh yuh-Ohfukkayou-likethat baby- likedat-showemdemtitties-whos namma you -cunthuntcummer-gonnaonya-gonna on yaaaa!" Let's talk about Step 4 for a second because I'm pretty sure Step 4 is the reason I'm cleaning Meat Ball's cum off my sheets right now. Apparently, Meat heard me whackin' my pole to Spunk'd 7 (in particular the scene with Amy Ried squashing her beans together and pleading to me - "I want that cum on my titties! Right there on my big titties. Ooooh! Right there, baby! Right there.") To which I responded - "Igunna-Igunna-ahhhgimmeum-givumm doze tittas! Puttem dare-puttem dare!!!" So there I am (did I mention the room was dark) giving the TV the fuck-tongue and all Meat's hearing is that I'm apparently about to shoot cum all over some girls beans. So then, outside my door, he starts whackin' it in preparation for what he thinks might be a three way he could get in on (or at least a surprise "double cum"). So, just as I'm shooting cum all over the TV screen, my door practically implodes as a pantless Meat Ball explodes through the opening screaming - "MEAAAT BALLLL! muzz muhhhhhhhhhz annden CUM IT!" With both of his hands up in the air and nothing to aim his cock with, I get sprayed down the leg with jit while Greedo's neck takes the rest of the damage. "Fuck! Meat Ball! You cummed at me," I yell. "I heard you fuckin' stuff and I wanted to pull a double cum on the prostitute you was fucking," he replied with his arms still high in the air. Then we hugged... but he didn't help me clean up his cum.