2013 TLA Raw Awards Winners

2013 TLA Awards

The polls have closed and the votes have been counted. It's with great excitement that we announce the winners of the 2013 TLA RAW AWARDS! Voting was close in many categories and honestly, every nominee was a winner in our book. However, the fans and customers have spoken.

BEST PORN MOVIE

Wasteland Boxcover

Wasteland

With Wasteland, Graham Travis managed to do something porn makers have been trying to do successfully since... Well, ever. He made, in pretty much all respects, a real movie! Sure, it's got lots of dicks going in and the stars aren't classically trained actors like Maggie Smith, but damn it if Wasteland didn't tug at everybody's heartstrings at the same time as it was coaxing the jizz out of their dicks. Surprisingly good performances from Lilys LaBeau and Carter, lots of great sex and photography so good that you'd have a hard time believing you were watching a gangbang. This movie's a true winner that everybody on Earth ought to watch. Please purchase it and watch it tonight with your grandparents. We're pretty sure that even they would like it.

BEST PORN PARODY

Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody Boxcover

Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody

It's pretty easy to see why this movie won the big parody award. Aside from the surprisingly good-looking special effects and fanboy-approved costumes, it's got a healthy helping of some pretty phenomenal sex scenes. Like Princess Leia's two totally righteous scenes that get a whole lot creepier when you remember that they're actually incest scenes (since she's getting down with her father and her brother, respectively). And hey, this movie's got Chewbacca's dick, for fuck's sake! What could be better than that?

BEST SEX COMEDY

Official The Hangover Parody Boxcover

Official The Hangover Parody

Sure, maybe it's not the timeliest porn parody, given the fact that The Hangover came out in, like, 2002 or something. But still, it's getting rarer and rarer to see a porn comedy that's actually funny. Deen, Cross and Buckton do a pretty stellar job of delivering the laughs in between the slew of pretty badass sex scenes, the best of which being the big whammin' orgy scene starring Skin Diamond, Brooklyn Lee, Misty Stone and Mika Tan. Also, any movie that can pull Tori Black out of retirement is an automatic winner, because we missed her pussy. A lot.

BEST INTERNATIONAL PORN

Inglorious Bitches Boxcover

Inglorious Bitches

The third parody to take home a TLA Raw Award this year, Inglorious Bitches proves to us that the spoof genre is still going strong, and why wouldn't it be? You've got a stellar back story based on Tarantino's revisionist violence-fest, you've got a handful of gorgeous Europussies (led by the stunning Tarra White), you've got a somewhat creepy military officer's orgy closing up the whole thing and every last moment of it is filmed with the kind of elegance that only Europeans know how to do! Plus, assfucking!

SICKEST PORN

Octomom: Home Alone Boxcover

Octomom: Home Alone

Um, you're kidding, right? Do we really need to explain why this movie won? It's fucking Octomom, chubs! Her biggest claim to fame (aside from that infantilism video she did) is the fact that eight humans passed through her vaginal cavity at one time. Of course people are gonna want to peep out that hole! Sure, we would've liked to actually see her get porked by some veteran porno stud, but this solo video will keep us satiated for the time being.

FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR

Lexi Belle Headshot

Lexi Belle

We're so glad to see that Lexi's finally getting her due. For years now, she's been a favorite among the TLA crew. She's appeared in hundreds of great flicks, showing off her nasty blowjob skills and her surprisingly meaty labia, and we've always loved it, but this year she took that final step and finally gave up the backdoor for some deep drilling. Once she took that shot in the ass, she made that leap from good performer to superstar performer! And thank God she did, too, because her anal work so far has been fucking sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

HYPEST DICK OF THE YEAR

James Deen Headshot

James Deen

No offense to anyone reading this, or to any of the other nominees, but DUH, of course James Deen was going to win this award. What kind of idiot website would be we if we sat back and watched anyone other than James Deen win this award. The man's the biggest male superstar porn's seen since... Hell, we don't even know? Ron Jeremy? James has a raging dick that manages to make it's way into almost every movie we've seen this year. He's a god damn workhorse and there's more pussy juice smeared on him than your mom's coffee table (zing)!

STUDIO OF THE YEAR

Elegant Angel

Elegant Angel

Over the course of the past year, Elegant Angel brought us Lexi Belle's first anal scene, Dani Daniels' first boy-girl scene, insanely intense gangbangs from Kagney Linn Karter and Julia Ann, and roughly a thousand dicks inside Asa Akira. They're the big-time studio that everyone else seems to be measuring themselves up against and they've got a habit of making every movie seem like an event, especially when the movie actually is a big event, like the multiple-award winning extravaganza, Wasteland. Also, Grazer works for them, and that dude is righteous!

BEST FEMALE NEWCOMER

Remy LaCroix and Riley Ried Headshot

Remy LaCroix and Riley Ried (TIE)

As we watched the votes come in day after day, we found ourselves on the edge of our seats watching the best newcomer race unfold. It became pretty clear that people couldn't choose between the hula-hoopin' fuckbunny Remy LaCroix and the babyfaced cum-guzzler Riley Reid. Frankly, we're sort of glad that they ended up receiving equal shares of the vote, because we didn't want to have to deny either of these two superstars the attention they both deserve. Earlier in 2013, the two finally did their first girl/girl scene together in Digial Sin's Girl Crush and we're foreseeing a handful of awards for the pair next year.

DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR

Jules Jordan

Jules Jordan

The truth is, Jules told us that if he didn't win this award, he'd send Mandingo over here to beat the fuck out of us with his 14-inch dick. Lucky, we didn't have to compromise our morals (or take a dick upside the forehead) because Jules ended up scoring the lion's share of the votes. Not surprising, as the man's movies manage to maintain a damn high level of quality on every front, from the photography to the lighting to the sexual acts themselves. The guy's a porn legend, and it's not hard to see why.

VOD STUDIO OF THE YEAR

Evil Angel

Evil Angel

What makes Evil Angel such a hit among the on-demand crowd? Well, we figure it has something to do with the fact that they constantly produce the roughest, sickest and most intense smut around - the kind of stuff you don't want your wife, girlfriend, kids or mother finding when they're snooping through your shit. Think about it - would you feel safe having Double Speculum Club sitting in your sock drawer, when you could have just as easily whacked off to it online and then deleted your history? We sure as fuck wouldn't. That shit's gross as fuck, but it sure does make us cum!

VOD MOVIE OF THE YEAR

Gangbanged 4

Gangbanged 4

Being the long-term perverts that we are, we've enjoyed watching Julia Ann's long career. Once a golden-haired contract star, it's nice to see how she's become filthier and filthier over the years, culminating in this jizz-glazed bangout in which she takes on every dick she can find in every hole she can muster, including some sweet double anal and double-vag action! Throw in the fact that this movie's also got Holly Michaels (another favorite) getting the gangbang treatment, and you've got an entirely essential fuck flick.

BEST TOY MANUFACTURER

Wicked Sensual Care

This one blew our minds. A lube manufacturer, winning the much-coveted award for best sex toy maker? But hey, you can't mess with quality and Wicked's new line of lubes has proven itself to be nothing but. From the elegant and stylish packaging to the high level of quality in the product to the variety, this is a brand that's got something for everyone. Warming lubes, cooling lubes, oil lubes, silicone lubes, dick-desensitizing spray - they've got it all, and not one of their products disappoints. Very possibly the best lubes on the market!

BEST SEX TOY

PDX Mega Fuck Slut

PDX Mega Fuck Slut

Frankly, we're still amazed that this toy even exists. We thought the very idea of a life-sized female torso that cost over a thousand dollars was just a little bit too far-fetched to be worthwhile, but as it turns out, we were very, very wrong. The PDX Mega Fuck Slut has gone on to be one of our best-selling toys with sky-high approvals from satisfied customers. Our staff brought one into the office and gangbanged it just to make sure the accolades were correct, and well... let's just say that there's a certain sperm-encrusted gem living in our breakroom for the foreseeable future. Also, our breakroom is now officially the most disgusting room on the East Coast

BEST TWITTER/TUMBLR

James Deen Headshot

James Deen

To be 100% honest, we're pretty sure that people will just vote for anything with James Deen's name on it. If we nominated James Deen for best female performer, he probably would have won. People (teenage women who legally shouldn't be viewing our website, especially) just seem to go ga-ga over this skinny goofball, and they're chomping at the bit to find ways to let him know. Seriously, James took, like, 94% of the vote for this category. It would feel unfair if tweets like this didn't make it such a deserved win.

BEST ADULT ORIENTED BLOG

Xcritic Logo

Xcritic

Another neck and neck awards race, the Xcritic voters turned out heavily toward the end of the voting period and bested the rest of the internet's porn reviewers, commentators, satirists and columnists. A well deserved win, as Xcritic is pretty much the go-to spot on the internet for in-depth and honest porn reviews. You wanna know if a smut flick is worthwhile, these fuckers will give you the scoop, for realz! Plus, they tend to post lots of sneak peeks and photo galleries and whatnot, which is always nice for those of us who like watching girls take off their clothes and get fucked.

BEST FREAKOUT

Mr. Marcus Boxcover

Mr. Marcus

Veteran performer Mr. Marcus never actually spread any STDs through the adult industry. What he did do (and has admitted to and apologized for) is alter a test result showing a positive result for syphilis. So the folks he shot scenes with during this period of time were under the impression that his tests were all in the clear although the medical professionals apparently said otherwise. Each of these folks had been re-tested and found to clear, and the industry appears to wholeheartedly stand behind the man, so... No harm done, we suppose! But the uproar during the 2012 "syphilis scare" (not to mention the production halt that ensued) does qualify this for a freakout. Although it should be said that we're horribly disappointed that Luka Mangiotta didn't get more votes in this category. He killed and ate people, for the love of god? Altering an STD test is a bigger deal that straight-up murder? Luka even murdered kittens, and taped it! Kittens, people! Please, when it's time to vote next year, get your fucking priorities in order.

Details of the TLA Raw Awards

  • Nominees were selected by our staff of well-educated adult product retailers.
  • All nominees will be notified via email.
  • Award winners will be announced April 15th.
  • Voting is open to everyone. There is no limit on the number of votes you may cast.
  • Losers can petition for a recount by contacting TLARAW.com via communication. Results may vary.
  • Categories are subject to change annually based on no pre-defined set of criteria.

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