Watch Out

By: Scott Cranin
In-House Review - Apr 22 2010

Writer/director Steve Balderson has created this bizarrely memorable character as portrayed by Matt Riddlehoover that will not soon leave this writer's memory. Jonathan, a university professor, so traumatized by his insane parents that he makes love to Polaroids of himself and he tapes a picture of his face to a love doll, which of course, he fucks mercilessly. Oh, and by the way, he's naked a lot, there's a cum shot and men and women always want to bed him. Doesn't this film sound intriguingly weird? It is.

By: Chip

By: Marty

Bad script. Bad acting. What's not to love? If it weren't for seeing Matt Riddlehoover's naked body a few times I wouldn't have lasted 40 minutes into the movie. And just for the record, I've seen Matt in other movies. He's a decent young actor. So who gets the blame for this mess?

By: FIRE DIVA

By: William Boyd

I've actually read the book on which this movie is based and found it strange enough that I was intrigued enough by its bizarre premise and over-the-top narrative to check out this motion picture adaptation.
The movie is an almost word for word adaptation of the novel (which isn't surprising, considering the screenplay was co-written by the author of the book, Joseph Suglia) and I as a consequence, features almost all of the novel's drawn out monologues, which don't always translate well to the screen.
The story involves Johnathan Barrows, a 28 (I think) year old narcissist who is desired by everyone he meets, man and woman, but only has sexual interest in himself. Barrows has gone to a small town in Michigan to apply for a teaching job at a community college, but when he gets there, it seems that no one has heard of him, so he resigns himself to stay in the town awaiting an interview which will never, it seems, take place. Meanwhile, the town weirdos are perpetually coming onto him.
This essentially summarizes the first 70 minutes of this 90 minute film. It's sometimes quirky, sometimes funny, and both constantly stupid and mind numbing, but mostly entertaining. The bizarre characters Barows encounters range from absurd to disgusting. The movie doesn't go anywhere any seem to mean anything, but it's harmless fun, despite dragging a bit.
Then the "second act" comes and everything takes a u-turn. After a bizarre scene in which Barrows is accosted by the town Cretans and with a plunger (I think?), we get what appears to be a back story which seems to be trying to explain why "Johnny is so screwed up. It all boils down to **SPOILERS** his having been spanked by an elementary school teacher, abused by babysitters, etc. The film ends on a random note which involves him , torturing and killing an unnamed pop star.**END SPOILERS**
All of this comes out of nowhere and goes nowhere. It has nothing to do with the first segment and the implication that Johnny has suddenly turned into a serial killer neither makes his character more realistic nor more interesting. It just feels like a poorly tacked on ending to an otherwise directionless story.
Otherwise, the acting ranges for bland to excellent, the production values are cheap, but adequate, and the direction is, well, standard. The problems with the narrative are also evident in the book, which ends on a similarly pointless note, but there's just nothing all that interesting or redeeming here that makes this crucial viewing for anyone except perhaps fans of the director or the novel.

By: Amos Lassen

"Watch Out"

The Narcissist

Amos Lassen

We all know someone like Jonathan (Steve Balderson, who also directed and wrote the film). He is a university professor that is totally in love with himself-so much so that he cannot find sexual release with anyone aside from himself. He makes love to photos of himself and he even tapes a picture of his face to a love doll with which he has wonderful sex. It seems his parents have so traumatized him and this is what has caused his self obsession.
This is quite an original film and Matt Riddlehoover gives quite a performance as Jonathan. Jonathan is good looking and when he hollers about how much he loves himself, you kind of want to cheer him along. He has managed to answer the question of who one has sex with when he is the best looking one available. The best thing is that we get to watch. Jonathan is not interested in men or women-he is in a class all by himself and perhaps that is what gives the film its black humor. There is a lot of sexual excess here which leads one to question the way the film hits the viewer. I personally thought it was very, very funny. Jonathan is nude a lot through the film and he does not hesitate showing us what he feels makes him so special. He may be sordid but he sure is handsome (and his body is very nice too).